Are there differences in people's concept and experience of love based on how long they've been in their relationship?

Yes.

A caution is in order here: these love test scores are not obtained from the same people over time--this is not a longitudinal study.

In general,

• Love Test Scores on both the concept and experience versions are lower the longer the person reports being in a relationship (See tables below). This is more pronounced for experience of love scores. Note however, that there is a slight increase in experience of love scores for the 20+ years together group.
• The descrepancy between what people think love should be and what they are experiencing increases the longer the person reports being in their relationship. Note however, that there is a slight decrease in descrepancies between what they think love should be and their experience of love for the 20+ years together group.

For Caregiving, the concept scores are an average of 2 points lower while the experience scores are an average of 14 points lower comparing relationships of less than 1 year to those who report having been together 10+ years. Note however, that there is a slight increase in experience of Caregiving scores for the 20+ years together group.

For Attachment, the concept scores are an average of 5 points lower while the experience scores are an average of 18 points lower comparing relationships of less than 1 year to those who report having been together 10+ years. Note however, that there is a slight increase in experience of Attachment scores for the 20+ years together group.

For Sexual Attraction, the concept scores are an average of 2 points lower while the experience scores are an average of 23 points lower comparing relationships of less than 1 year to those who report having been together 10+ years. Note however, that there is a slight increase in experience of Sexual Attraction scores for the 20+ years together group.

Descrepancies between concept scores and experience scores increase an average of 12 points for Caregiving, 13 points for Attachment and an average of 22 points for Sexual Attraction comparing relationships of less than 1 year to those who report having been together 10+ years. This means that people who reported being in a relationship longer have larger descrepancies between what they think love is and what they report experiencing. This effect is especially pronounced for Sexual Attraction. Note however, that there is a slight descrease descrepancies between what people think love should be and what they are experiencing for the 20+ years together group.

This suggests that there are some differences in people's experience of various dimensions of love based on the amount of time they've been together in their relationship--People who have been in their relationships longer show larger descrepancies between what they think love should be and what they are experiencing as compared to those who have been in their relationship for less time. This effect is most pronounced for Sexual Attraction scores, but is also evident in Caregiving and Attachment scores. Given that age is also correlated with scores on The Love Test and is correlated with time in the relationship (r = .48), I wanted to see if partialing out age, would reduce these differences so I ran partial correlations between time together controlling for age. If age accounts for the differences in Love Test Scores between people who have been in a relationship a short time versus those who have been in a relationship a long time, then controlling for age should wipe out the effects of time in the relationship. Controlling for age, did reduce the correlations between time in the relationship and The Love Test scales, however the effect for time together was still statistically significant (p < .05).

Table Labels:

• Concept: Scores on the concept version of The Love Test (How important is each item to you?)
• Experience: Scores on the experience version of The Love Test (How much of each item are you getting?)
• Difference: I created difference scores by subtracting their experience score from their concept score on each of the Love Test Scales:
  • Caregiving Concept Scale Score - Caregiving Experience Scale Score
  • Attachment Concept Scale Score - Attachment Experience Scale Score
  • Sexual Attraction Concept Scale Score - Sexual Attraction Experience Scale Score

    Thus, for each difference score:

    • People who scored higher on the experience version than on the concept version would have negative difference scores (they are getting more love than they expect).
    • People who scored higher about the same on the experience version as on the concept version would have difference scores near zero (They are getting about what they expect from Love).
    • People who scored lower on the experience version than on the concept version would have positive difference scores(they are getting less love than they expect).
• N: The number of people who took The Love Test by the amount of time they said they'd been in their relationship.

 

Time in the Relationship	Caregiving
	Concept	Experience	Difference	N
< 1 Month	89.3%	80.6%	8.7%	462
1-5.9 Months	89.0%	81.7%	7.3%	2,714
6-11.9 Months	89.2%	82.2%	7.0%	1,579
1-1.49 Years	89.3%	81.5%	7.8%	959
1.5-1.9 Years	88.7%	78.9%	9.7%	502
2-2.49 Years	88.8%	78.1%	10.7%	485
2.5-2.9 Years	88.8%	76.9%	11.9%	226
3-4.9 Years	88.3%	75.5%	12.8%	779
5-9.9 Years	87.7%	70.7%	17.1%	623
10-14.9 Years	87.4%	68.9%	18.5%	241
15-19.9 Years	86.6%	64.1%	22.5%	151
20+ Years	86.3%	68.5%	17.8%	146
Time in the Relationship	Attachment
	Concept	Experience	Difference	N
< 1 Month	76.6%	75.1%	1.5%	462
1-5.9 Months	74.2%	74.7%	-0.5%	2,714
6-11.9 Months	73.5%	74.2%	-0.7%	1,579
1-1.49 Years	73.3%	73.0%	0.3%	959
1.5-1.9 Years	71.8%	70.1%	1.7%	502
2-2.49 Years	72.8%	69.6%	3.1%	485
2.5-2.9 Years	71.5%	67.6%	3.9%	226
3-4.9 Years	71.4%	65.7%	5.6%	779
5-9.9 Years	69.9%	60.7%	9.2%	623
10-14.9 Years	70.1%	58.1%	12.0%	241
15-19.9 Years	68.2%	53.9%	14.3%	151
20+ Years	67.5%	57.3%	10.2%	146
Time in the Relationship	Sexual Attraction
	Concept	Experience	Difference	N
< 1 Month	80.5%	77.5%	3.0%	462
1-5.9 Months	79.3%	79.2%	0.1%	2,714
6-11.9 Months	79.9%	79.2%	0.6%	1,579
1-1.49 Years	79.8%	78.2%	1.6%	959
1.5-1.9 Years	78.4%	74.9%	3.6%	502
2-2.49 Years	79.3%	73.1%	6.2%	485
2.5-2.9 Years	78.6%	71.7%	6.9%	226
3-4.9 Years	79.3%	68.7%	10.6%	779
5-9.9 Years	78.6%	62.0%	16.5%	623
10-14.9 Years	78.8%	57.0%	21.8%	241
15-19.9 Years	77.8%	52.8%	25.0%	151
20+ Years	77.2%	57.3%	19.9%	146

Differences in Love Test scores between people who report being in their relationship less than a year and those who who report being in their relationship 10+ years
Love Test Scale	Concept	Experience	Difference Between Concept and Experience
Caregiving	2.2	14.3	-12.1
Attachment	5.3	17.9	-12.6
Sexual Attraction	1.5	23.2	-21.6

Return to the Concept of Love Dimensions Page.

Return to the Love Test Findings Page.

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