On gender differences in arousal.

I think that it's a three part process:

1. the sensations occur;
2. the person may perceive those sensations; and
   • Females lubricate, the labia swell and we get kinda generalized nice feelings down there.
   • The male's penis swells and stands up and he gets nice feelings down there that are centered on the erection.
3. the person labels those sensations.

ok...

At step 1, for males, the erection is clear signal... a part of them changes rather drastically in size and turgidity. for females, lubrication and swelling of the labia is a more diffuse and ambiguous sensation.

At step 2, there's some difference there in perceivability of the arousal because the physical signs of sexual arousal are less overt for females. I also think that since the sensations are more diffuse, those sensations are more like other forms of arousal that include love/infatuation/etc.

At step three, if the person has perceived the physical changes in their body... then they may label it. Here we have differences in the observability and specificity of the sensation. But we also have cognitive "filters" that are the expectations and beliefs that we have acquired thru socialization.

So I guess I think it boils down to I think that females' experience of sexual arousal is more diffuse/less overt that that of males and is thus easier to label as love.
and
Our society generally teaches females that they must be in love prior to having sex, thus predisposing females to label sexual arousal as love.

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